hey, remember fun?

i mean real, good clean fun. i don't mean getting drunk or high, i don't mean going to crazy parties and having sex in someone's parents' bedroom with someone i've never met and never will again. what i mean is genuine "little kid"-esque fun la afternoons of board games and evenings of hide-and-go-seek or spotlight. lip synch contests and foursquare. climbing the trees in the backyard of the house three houses up the street from mine. going on adventurous bikerides through the woods (at least we thought they were adventurous...) going to the playground, swinging on the swings while listening to my battery-powered stereo. i miss it all! i miss the sensation i had when one of my friends said "shit" or "hell - i'd never dare myself! - we were all semi-appalled, yet proud of someone with the recklessness to use such a word. i miss the innocence.

heaven was my neighbour's basement, a huge off-coloured tv and super mario bros. 2. now, my fun is going for coffee, bowling, laser tag, and shows. the only one i've managed to keep is nintendo. i realise that going for coffee, bowling, laser tag, and shows aren't exactly activities designed exclusively for mature adults, but they're so expensive, and they lack the childish pleasure i need. why is there an age limit on fun? i'd be overjoyed if i could only call my neighbours, my ex-best friends, and we could go build a snow fort or play fox-n-eggs. but we're all eighteen to twenty years old now, and not only would we look ridiculous to the neighbours (not that i care, but they might), but they no longer associate with me - none of us talk to each other anymore, except in passing. there was a time when we all hated each other, but that's cooled down, and we can talk now and we like each other, but it will never be the same. we were inseparable as children. going to the store for chips and a popsicle was an everyday occurrence. every saturday morning? ice skating, jump rope, or walking to town for ice cream and lip smackers. that was our big outing, and it was all we needed. no expensive pastimes. what happened? i don't remember growing up. why did it happen to everyone else? were we forced to grow up? most importantly, is everyone else just faking it like i am?

anyone up for a game of spotlight?