...click here for notes from days of old.

(november 24 1999)

today i wasn't a wuss. long version: i was a huge wuss then not and then again. even longer version: today there was a clinic at my school where you could find out your blood pressure and blood type. i was all for the blood pressure test, and it turned out to be 104/74. i wasn't so sure about the blood type test since it meant seeing blood and having my skin punctured. (i'm a huge blood wuss, it makes me want to faint and/or lie down on the floor and breathe.) everyone else i was with got it done and my curiosity got the better of me. they all had A type blood and mine was O hehe. i was such a wuss, i was so afraid having my finger pricked was going to kill me with pain. i was saying "ahhh does this hurt?" and they were saying "it's like a mosquito bite" and i was saying "yeah right!!" anyway i screwed my face all up and prepared for the worst. then i felt it and i relaxed totally and said "...oh!" with total relief (they weren't lying! it really didn't hurt!) then everyone laughed at me. :\ hehe. but as soon as i left and went to the store i started thinking about it and hyperventilated and turned white. bah well, it's a lot less than what usually happens to me hehe. i survived!!

i'm eating sunflower seeds. they're excellent. i've taken to buying cape cod sea salt and vinegar chips every day in school and eating them, but the vinegar on them is so strong that it's literally dissolving my mouth. i still can't stop eating them!! they taste so good!

on saturday i go to a banquet for the honours society (which i'm apparently in... i didn't know until i got the invitation) and i get free food. anyone else has to pay $15 heha, for once i don't have to waste my money on food on saturday!! rockin' kats i say.

i found my milli vanilli tape and a compilation of 80's songs which includes love is a battlefield, every breath you take, you might think, land down under, girls just wanna have fun, and cum on feel the noize! it's the greatest tape ever! it's not even a dub, i actually own this tape. it's actually from the 80's too, so at the time it was a "big hits!" type compilation and now it's just the greatest tape ever. :D

i have run out of words for today i fear.

(november 12 1999)

holy crow, things are boring lately. i still have days where i get to cackle at wildly funny things, but they're always little things... it doesn't take much to get me up or bring me down anymore. and i always seem to have things to do... sort of... but once i've done them it feels like i've done nothing. it's unsatisfying. i suppose that's the best word for it. i haven't been feeling too awesome lately, and it makes me not want to write because i'm usually so darned smiley. and i don't like being whiney in public. hehe. but i don't feel right lately. i can't put my finger on it, i'm just out of whack. i don't know, perhaps i'm going wacko!! or not.

anyway, on a lighter note, i went to the youth center and to wendy's today. i adore frosty dairy desserts. i also got fries and a chicken sandwich and coke. the fries sucked, i must say. the rest was okay. still, i sort of feel like i didn't do anything. everything is the same. it's nothing i lie in bed at night and remember and sigh. perhaps it will never be like that again. sometimes i think i'd be satisfied if i didn't have such great memories of having fun. i lost a lot of people, and i miss most of them. i guess this is my night (one of many nights) of wishful thinking that just throws me off for a while.

today at school, people sold posters. i looked at one called spacescapes which was really pretty, and some dumbass behind me made fun of it. so i left and told natasha "someone's making fun of my poster!" hehe. there was a great poster there, i copied down all the words. i'll put them here even though i didn't write them, and it didn't say on the poster who did.

Some People

Some people come into our lives and quickly go.
Some people move our souls to dance. They awaken us to new understanding with the passing whisper of their wisdom.
Some people make the sky more beautiful to gaze upon. They stay in our lives for awhile, leave footprints in our hearts, and we are never, ever the same.

so there it is. i adored it immensely. i have no reason to keep writing. :D